Happy Birthday Amelia!!

 My dearest Amelia

Today is your 14th birthday.

Yesterday you graduated from 8th grade.

Your Dad... This guy... Me!!  Loves you very much.

The cruelty of those keeping us apart and making you commit hateful and hurtful acts is beyond explanation.

I promise you, your daddy will never abandon hope.  I will never abandon you to such hate, cruelty, and abuse.

You should never have been made to live someone else's LIES!

IM ANGRY FOR US BOTH.

But I want you to know that none of my anger is toward you.   

I'm so sorry that I couldn't shield or protect you from the sadistic agenda of those who should have protected you.

Come home Amelia.  You are always home, here, with me.

I am your dad.

I love you.

D

Father's Day

 Well, Amelia...   Another father's day goes by....  And next week you'll graduate from 8th grade and have your 14th birthday....

And I'm being deprived of sharing your achievements.  And you are being deprived of a good and caring Dad.

Why?!!  Why would anyone do this to you?!!!

So many precious moments that can never be restored, returned, or compensated for.   Cheated!   You and me, kiddo....  We're being cheated!  

You have a Dad who loves you,Amelia. Amelia, my dearest one...  I'm trying to protect you!  I'm trying to make things better for you.  I never dreamed the pain they would put you through to try to control me.   I'm so sorry for you,  honey.

Know that you are always in my heart and mind.

If you can find a way to contact me, it would be wonderful.

You are mine.  I am yours.

D.

I dreamed a dream....

My dearest Amelia.

I woke up this morning from a dream.   I dreamed you came home!

In my dream, I was in the bedroom, and I found a stack of books and journals of yours.   Journals I gave you.   I opened one, and it wasn't personal things, like what boy you think is cute, or what makes you angry, or anything like that...   It was the title of a story, or a script, that you were writing.   Something about yourself and puppets....  I think you were writing a script for a puppet show....

But I didn't get any further than the title, cuz I looked up, and you were standing there at the doorway, looking at me.

I couldn't believe my eyes.  I scrambled to my feet and ran to hug you...  but we were both, kind of hesitant-- like we were afraid of being punished for hugging... So our hug was short and confusing...

I was speechless.  "How?....why?... How is it you're here?" I finally stammered out, my joy and fear colliding.

With strained uncertainty, you answered, "I came here on my own, but I can't stay long, I have to get back before she misses me."

I wanted to ask you so many things, but I woke up.  My mind was racing...could this happen?  Will this happen??  How do you get in the apartment (in my dream)?  I need to figure out a way for you to let yourself in, should you ever want to or need to.

This is your home, Amelia!

Thank you for visiting your dear old dad.   Even if only in a dream...

D

Spring is coming!

Dear Amelia

I don't know if you're even seeing these.   And I don't know what to say....

I miss you.  I love you.  And I want you know that I'm waiting for you to come home......    Every day.

Winters nearly over...  The ground hog saw his shadow...   And tomorrow is valentine's day.

Soon you will graduate from middle school...

Amelia...  Time cannot be returned.   We always valued our time together.   We must do that again... Before it's too late.  Find someone you can trust, and ask them to help you.

You don't have to carry it all by yourself.  

I love you.

Dad

happy new year, Amelia!!

Well Amelia, here comes another year.

And a big one.  You will graduate again!   From middle school!   You will turn 14!!   And you will start high school!!!!

I love you so much, Amelia.

I miss our time together, and talking with you, and sharing adventures...  And sharing what I know and have learned about life.  And having someone to roll her eyes and groan at my awesome "Dad jokes"

You know this is your home... with me.

You will always belong here, and you are always loved!

I hope and pray we will be together again soon.

Amelia...  Your Lita and Papa Larry miss you so much.  Please try to find a way stay in touch with them.

Happy New Year, my dearest one...

Dad.

Merry Christmas!!

Hi Amelia.

I hope you're well.  Remember that cool Santa hat I've been talking about making for...years?!

Well...  I finally finished it.  What do you think?!  Coolest Santa hat ever, right!?

Miss you.  Love you!

Dad

here comes December!

My dearest Amelia...

Here comes December....   The excitement of the holidays, and the intense reminders of how much I miss you...  And how much time we are losing that can never be returned to us...

I know you feel this too....   Just remember... always...  I love you and you belong here...  With your Dad.

So....   Even though it's December.  Yes, December!!...  Stormy keeps catching and bringing snakes into the house!    Where is he finding snakes?!!

He has brought a different snake into the house 6 times in the past 5 days.   And always a different snake.  I can tell.   I mean... Shouldn't snakes be hibernating under a rock by now?

Real head scratcher....

Still...  I prefer snakes to birds and rats-- which he regularly likes to bring in to play with.  Ugh!!

I hope you are well, my dear.

Tell me about high school plans please.  Which highschool is you favorite and why?

Love, 

     Dad.